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[arualms]

Since so far, everything works the way it is supposed to, I will try to post my multi-chaptered fic as well. But I´m still a beginner, so every chapter will have to get it´s own post.

This is set after "The Perfect Storm". I hated the way they dealt with it on the show, so I decided to see how else it could have gone. The result was my first piece of fanfiction, ever. That´s why there are still so many mistakes ;).

disclaimer: Yes, I own them . That´s why M and J went on that stupid surfing tour and never came back...Wait a minute...

AN: Tell me what you think. You know you want to! I still need a beta, so there are bound to be a lot of things that could be done better.

Wakeup call

„You do not honestly believe that just because you are here now, we are not going to talk about what you almost did, do you?“ Seth’s angry voice startled him out of his thoughts and Ryan sat up in his bed. His friend/ almost-brother was standing in the doorframe, looking at him with a mixture of hurt, anger and something else that Ryan could not identify. “What?” he replied groggily, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
“Don’t you dare pretend that you don’t know what I am talking about” Seth was positively fuming. „You were going to leave! Just like that, you were going to leave all of us, leave me behind and why? ´Cause you got yourself in trouble and could not go to school with us anymore? Things get difficult and you run away, is that it?”

“You do realize that that is what you did last year, don’t you?” Ryan snapped back. He was not in the mood for this. He had spend almost all of last night lying awake, agonizing over whether or not staying had been the correct decision, he was too tired to argue with Seth. Also, he had hoped that at least Seth would try to understand. Apparently, no such luck.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Seth actually seemed baffled by Ryan’s outburst. “I’m talking about the fact that you took your stupid boat and sailed into the sunset only hours after I went to Chino” “That was different!” “You are right, it was different! You left without saying goodbye, you left without telling anyone how long you would be gone, you left planning to never come back!” Ryan was fastly loosing his temper. He had wanted to say some of these things to Seth forever and somehow now was the moment he actually did. It felt strangely liberating.

 

Seth stared at Ryan in shock, seemingly at a loss of how to deal with this angry version of his almost-brother. But then he apparently remembered why he had come to the pool house in the first place and regained his courage. “This is not about me and something I did over a year ago. This about you and your willingness to throw away everything we have, everything my, I mean our parents did for you. This is about the fact that the only reason you are still here is your girlfriend!” He had gained speed while he was talking, no yelling at Ryan and when he finished, he needed to take a deep breath before looking Ryan in the eyes. ”This is about the fact that apparently you do not love our family enough to stay.” The last part came out quiet and eeringly calm.

 

Ryan looked at his bare feet, clenching and unclenching his fists, trying to concentrate on evening out his breathing to match the faraway sound of the waves. The rhythm had a calming effect on him ever since his first night in the pool house, when it had been the only thing he could hear and he concentrated on the sound to suppress his fear and the never-ending litany of “What now” in his head.

He tilted his head, searching Seth’s eyes to make sure he was listening, to make sure he would be able to gauge his reaction and see whether or not he understood. “I was not going to leave forever, Seth. I was going to come back. I was not planning to leave you or your parents behind. I just needed some time to gather my thoughts and figure out what to do. It was only gonna be for three weeks, Seth!”

If the flicker of anger and hurt in Seth eyes was any indication, this was not what he had wanted to hear. “If you so desperately needed that time away, then why did you stay for Marissa? Sorry Ryan, but that just does not make sense. You were going to leave and she was the only one important enough to make you stay!”

Ryan sighed in frustration. He should have known that Seth would see it this way. As much has he liked his best friend, the guy did tend to be self-absorbed and see things only in the way they related to him. Although to be fair, things had gotten a lot better over the summer. He took another deep breath and tried to explain. “I did not stay because Marissa is more important to me than you or your parents. She is not. I stayed because she needed me to. She came to the ship and told me that I was just like her father. Do you know how much his leaving hurt her? I could not hurt her even more, not after what she already went through because of me. That is why I stayed.”

He had moved towards one of the windows while talking, but now he turned back to Seth, trying to figure out if he understood now. “What do you mean, after what she went through because of you? What the hell are you talking about” Apparently not. He sighed. Asking Seth to just let it go would be futile, so he once more took a deep breath. “Trey is my brother, Seth. She spent time with him because I asked her to. If I had not done that, none of this would ever have happened. If there is anything, anything I can do to make it up to her, then I have to try. It is the least I can do.”

 

 

Seth stared at his almost-brother. He sounded so defeated; as if he had spent months, years fighting a loosing battle and was finally ready to give up. He did not know what to say. The facts that Ryan had given him were true, but still. What Trey had done was not Ryan’s fault. Didn’t he know that? Did he really think that he was the one to blame? But when he thought about it, he could totally see Ryan do exactly that. Ryan was the king of assuming responsibility after all. He sighed. If Ryan had been thinking, believing that all this time, then this was a problem far bigger than just his attempt to leave. He would need back up to deal with this. The ´rents should be up already. He would have to talk to them, figure out what they were going to do -together. Because there was no way they could let Ryan go on believing that. ”Ok” he nodded at Ryan ”I can accept that for now. We still need to talk, but it is ok for now. I am gonna leave you to do - whatever you wanna do. See you later, ok?”

 

 

“Ok” Ryan agreed. That was at least something. The prospect of more talking did not bore well with him, but at least Seth no longer seemed quite as mad as he had when he had woken him up. That was at least something. And the rest, well he would just have to deal with that later. He took another calming breath, trying to ignore the growing feeling of unease as he watched Seth making his way towards the main house.

As always, please tell me what you think.

Comments

[muchtvs.livejournal.com]

This is about the fact that apparently you do not love our family enough to stay.” The last part came out quiet and eeringly calm. I so get Seth's point of view on this...even though I get Ryan's as well. But Set is still younger than Ryan in his thought processes and I am sure to him, this is how it felt.

when it had been the only thing he could hear and he concentrated on the sound to suppress his fear and the never-ending litany of “What now” in his head. awesome insight

”Ok” he nodded at Ryan ”I can accept that for now. We still need to talk, but it is ok for now. I am gonna leave you to do - whatever you wanna do. See you later, ok?” hee hee...love Seth..and I too wonder just what it is that Ryan does all day in that pool house of his.

When Ryan was leaving for the boat, I understood completely why he felt he "had" to do it. The kid always has been a solitary problem solver. He needed time to get away, focus. I think, in time, he would have returned, settled down, got hi GED and dealt with college. I think it was a knee jerk reaction on his part...but that's what 17 year old do...they make rash decisions.

Also, you are so on about why Ryan would come back because he thought Marissa needed him. Perfect.

(Funny, I got into fanfic for the same reason. The show didn't do a good enough job explaining some things to me. I'm usually not this 'talkative'. I have the day off and time to burn.')

[arualms.livejournal.com]

Thank you! So glad you liked it. I´m happy you thought that both perspectives were understandable, since I am trying to write this in a way that makes it possible to understand all of them, at least to a point.

I started reading fanfiction because I used to get upset about the way that certain plotlines were handled. I have been reading for some time now, but the OC was the first show that actually made me write some by myself. There´s just something about Ben...

At least you have the day off. I am supposed to be studying for the finals that are going to start in February. Four German and two English exams in a little more than a week. I am trying to delude myself into believing that this is at least training my English, but my spelling is still so horrible that I don´t even fall for my own lie.

[famous99.livejournal.com]

The rhythm had a calming effect on him ever since his first night in the pool house, when it had been the only thing he could hear and he concentrated on the sound to suppress his fear and the never-ending litany of “What now” in his head.
Awesome insight and awesome way to phrase it.
This was something that always bothered me on the show - that Ryan came back because of Marissa. I liked that Seth confronts him on that, even though I think Seth is glad to have him back no matter what.

[arualms.livejournal.com]

Of course he is glad, but if I were in his shoes, I would be worried that, if Marissa is the only reason he stayed, he might leave again. That fear is the motivation for the confrontation. Well, that and hurt feelings.
And there had to be a better reason than the whole "You are my future" bullshit.

[famous99.livejournal.com]

definitely.