I just wrote a rather long comment and LJ ate the whole thing. I really can't do it again. Sorry. I'll be brief.
Great job with creating a tense atmosphere and with the vacuum again of no adult stepping in to help him. Maybe they're uncertain or overwhelmed, but it's there responsiblity, duty and job to find a way to make some sort of connection. Ryan may be internalizing many of his emotions, but he is also exhibiting many symptoms through his behavior for anyone observing him closely enough. Yet again, his guardians seem to hold back and fail him rather than taking the initiative to support and protect him.
Since Ryan has been so conditioned to believe that he is a source of problems and the cause for the disintegration of his own family, he is already riddled with guilt and automatically responds to events by blaming himself, accepting the responsibility and shouldering the burden. You portray him as reliving and replaying various scenarios, literally torturing himself as he convinces himself that he could soley control other people, their choices and any outcome. This struggle and the pain he inflicts on himself is heartbreaking. He's learned to believe, through repeated reinforcement, that he is a failure and now he even believes that he is capable of wanting a certain result.
Again you make a seamless transition from one reality to another with the dream sequence. What you conveyed so vividly to Ryan seemed just as alarming and disturbing on the page. I was as shocked as he was when it became clear it was another nightmare, but not part of his waking, living nightmare.
I'm curious to see what the actual funeral brings and who does come to Ryan's aid, or if they continue to let him slip further.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2006-03-01 07:05 pm (UTC)Great job with creating a tense atmosphere and with the vacuum again of no adult stepping in to help him. Maybe they're uncertain or overwhelmed, but it's there responsiblity, duty and job to find a way to make some sort of connection. Ryan may be internalizing many of his emotions, but he is also exhibiting many symptoms through his behavior for anyone observing him closely enough. Yet again, his guardians seem to hold back and fail him rather than taking the initiative to support and protect him.
Since Ryan has been so conditioned to believe that he is a source of problems and the cause for the disintegration of his own family, he is already riddled with guilt and automatically responds to events by blaming himself, accepting the responsibility and shouldering the burden. You portray him as reliving and replaying various scenarios, literally torturing himself as he convinces himself that he could soley control other people, their choices and any outcome. This struggle and the pain he inflicts on himself is heartbreaking. He's learned to believe, through repeated reinforcement, that he is a failure and now he even believes that he is capable of wanting a certain result.
Again you make a seamless transition from one reality to another with the dream sequence. What you conveyed so vividly to Ryan seemed just as alarming and disturbing on the page. I was as shocked as he was when it became clear it was another nightmare, but not part of his waking, living nightmare.
I'm curious to see what the actual funeral brings and who does come to Ryan's aid, or if they continue to let him slip further.